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Don't Let Your Biological Clock Cause You To Settle

Chris Kazi Rolle • Dec 09, 2015

In many of my conversations with women, of all ages, I have learned a lot about their hopes, dreams, experiences and perspectives.

From my listening, I have gleaned that the desire to be a mother really affects how most women plan out their lives. Especially in the area of relationships.

The ability to have a child is a limited time offer. Nature imposes a deadline that can make some woman fearful about not accomplishing the goal of motherhood. For many, this fear causes them to make relationship decisions that are not always the best.

What choices are there for women who want to have children but can't find a mate that is the perfect fit? I've seen somego the natural insemination route, while others make a silent decision to settle and accept a man who may not be her ideal.

To these women I say... You may luck up with this strategy, but more often than not, you won't. So I implore you stay hopeful. You can have what you want. Perhaps you may just need to tweak your approach.

 The male to female ratio on the dating scene can seems pretty lopsided, and after a series of  not-so-inspiring dates with men who didn’t want to commit to being husbands and fathers (or even a boyfriend for that matter), and I can totally understand how you can get become jaded about the possibility of meeting someone who is serious about building a family.  

But, before you throw in the towel, I encourage you to ask yourself...  “Did I do everything I could, to get what I really want?”.  If not, here are a few options for you to consider...

1. Get Out Of The Office  

If you give all your time to the job, you won’t ever meet anybody. The same way you schedule meetings, you have to get social outings on your calendar as well. You have to make the time.

2. Go Where The Men Are

It’s highly unlikely that you will meet Mr. Right at the beauty salon, a women’s retreat or at a female-only spas. You will increase your chances of meeting an eligible bachelor by joining a local gym, attending sporting events or going to financial conferences. There are a lot of men out there, you just have to know where to look [ I can help with that ].

3. Join A Dating Site

For some of you, your pride and ego might hold you back from joining EHarmony or Christian Mingle, but they [your pride and ego] won’t help you in becoming a wife and mother. [I'm just saying]

4. Hire A Professional. 

If what you've been trying isn't working, perhaps it's time to try something new. Employ a matchmaker (Preferably me!). The same way companies use a head-hunter to find the best candidate for a position in their company, you should use this same strategy to find candidate to be " in your company ". 

5. Believe

Last but not least, you have to believe that there are men out there who fit your ideals. As a man who sought out his wife, I hope I can be a source of  encouragement for what is possible for you. There are men who are working on themselves and trying to step up to the plate to be leaders, husbands and fathers. Believe that. 

Keep hope alive!

When Life Doesn’t Match Your Dreams

By Chris Kazi Rolle • 01 May, 2023
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10 Characteristic Of Successful Relationships

By Chris Kazi Rolle • 03 Apr, 2017
1) Friendship: Couples who have a strong friendship have staying power. They not only love each other but genuinely like each other as people. They enjoy hanging out together. They might even consider each other their “best friend.”

How A Modern Woman Can Approach A Guy Without Looking Desperate

By Chris Kazi Rolle • 03 Aug, 2016
I'm positive you've attended an event, and had to watch a guy you were interested in, walk right out the door, without him knowing, you wanted to get to know him.This scenario plays out because it's not traditional for a woman to make the first move. And for many guys, they won’t even approach a woman who doesn’t give him a cue. What this creates in an impasse. He's scared of rejection and you don't believe that it's "lady-like" to approach a man. But, therein lies the rub!So, what can you do about it? Good question! Glad you asked. Here are 2 cues you can employ to make it easy for him to come over and introduce himself.1. Smile. A smile is a great way to nonverbally say "I am open to a conversation". Sounds simple but you'd be surprised how many times you might be wearing a frown and “you ain't even know it”.2. Develop a “come hither look”. It’s a tactful way for a classy woman to make an advance. Webster Dictionary defines a “come hither look” as “an alluring or seductive look or glance”. This look can trigger a man’s innate desire to pursue.I advise my clients to do something I call, "mirror work". Mirror work can be used for multiple things, one of which is practicing your body language. 85% of communication is nonverbal. Before you go out there, it's important to get the right "welcome" down pact (and to make sure that there is nothing between your teeth). :-)

What Is The Difference Between A Life Coach And A Therapist?

By Chris Kazi Rolle • 23 Jun, 2016
I get asked all the time about the difference between coaching and therapy. In order to create a clear distinction between the two, I'll try to explain here.

Twice Engaged, Once Married

By Chris Kazi Rolle • 13 Dec, 2015
My journey to becoming a married man hasn’t been an easy one. I was engaged once before, but never made it to the altar. We tried, but we failed. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. I could throw her under the bus to make myself look good, but that wouldn’t be fair to her. And the way things didn’t work out taught us some valuable lessons, one of which is, don’t point fingers. The others are be self-aware and own up to your own contribution. It’s hard to speak candidly about your own mistakes, but that’s what I tell my coaching clients to do so I have to practice what I preach.

An Open Letter To Men Who Text

By Chris Kazi Rolle • 12 Dec, 2015
Dear Men Who Text, From a time management stand point, I can see how texting can be a great way to stay on her mind while you handle other business [and for some of us guys, juggle multiple women]. I get it. I've done it too.That is why, I can tell you, from experience, that the thing to be cautious of is, technology doesn't always convey what you are really trying to say, or who you really are, and...on top of that, men and women speak two different languages.See, when texting is your primary means of talking to her, what 'she' gets from you, differs, from your intention. She interprets it as a sign that you don't hold her in high regard. It tells her that she isn't worth your time. It also comes across as if you're selfish. It communicates that you are the type of man who wants something of value, for nothing in return. You want to be intimate without intimacy.You can't get to know someone through texting! You just can't. Quality relationships begin with quality conversation and quality time. Anything else, leads to too much miscommunication.If you are really interested in her, pick up the phone and call her.Sincerely,+ckr

Submission Is For Men Too

By Chris Kazi Rolle • 10 Dec, 2015
Contrary to popular belief, submission, is for men too.It's impossible to experience love at the deepest level without both parties being submissive.When two people give of themselves it takes the relationship higher. When only one person submits, there will always be a struggle.There was a time I use to think that it was all about the woman submitting to her man, but through study, and experience, I have come to realize that submission is essential for both parties to have a successful union. It takes two!When both parties humble their egos and give up themselves.The ME, and the YOU, disappear, and the focus becomes about "the us".Our personal need to be right, becomes second to doing what is right.By agreeing to be vulnerable to one another, they automatically let go of the fear of being mistreated or manipulated.They surrender to love between them.

4 Simple Factors To Finding Your Perfect Fit

By Chris Kazi Rolle • 28 Nov, 2015
On face value, two people can look really good together while fundamentally they aren't compatible on a deeper. Values, mindset, spirituality, finances and personality types all matter when it come to finding the right partner. Compatibility is a prerequisite of a successful relationship.

Capture Your Dreams

By Chris Kazi Rolle • 28 Nov, 2015
We learn from trail and error, or information passed down from our parents and teachers [which they got from theirs].Scientists and psychologists are still studying and discovering new information about our species and what we are capable of.

Never Let Anyone Steal Your Joy

By Chris Kazi Rolle • 28 Nov, 2015
Joy is our natural disposition. It is embedded into our DNA. However, there are some people in our lives, that just KNOW how to take away our joy.The truth of the matter is people can actually only annoy  you or make you angry, if you let them.If you really think about it, we choose how we feel [at least we should].We can make the choice on how you react to what people say or do.For some of us, that may be difficult to do. We have allowed the world to have a power over us that is hard to break. Regardless, today is the day we change all that!Today we make a choice! We choose to respond not react.We will maintain a strong grip on your emotions and manage them in a way that will disarm the thieves out there looking to snatch our happiness and peace of mind.From this day forth, we commitment, to the man, or woman in the mirror, to NOT to let ANYONE steal our joy!
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